You know you married a powerful woman!!! You reminded me of that all the time. And yes I no longer have you here to remind me, but somehow in the darkest of hours ~ I hear your voice. I have the power to navigate through this grief in MY way. It is funny how everyone has an image of what my grief should look like, how I should act. I am dealing with this one step at a time one day at a time with POWER. I have the power to not let others and their issues affect who I am. I dread to say that I was for the past few months, but today is a new day and a new chance to be in touch with the powerful person that you married.
I have the power to navigate the world alone. I must admit that this fact has scared me. But I can float through the rough waves and swim in the still water of life solo when needed. Yes, it would be easier having others there with me. Swimming alone is not always fun. But there is power in the loneliness and truth in the fear. When I get the chance to enjoy a moment around others that is truly honest and kind I am thankful for the power within to be able to hold on to those moments until the next one comes around.
At a time when the whole world sees me as weak, when it is expected and accepted as a fact ~ I feel YOU cheering me on, reminding me of the power that lives inside my soul. I might have slipped back to old ways, to being the person who says YES to everyone and SORRY for things that lack to be in my control. I know I have spent a long time letting that part of me go. But I have the POWER to go back to who I am , to stand up for myself, to walk away from those that hurt me, to embrace those that are kind, and to go through this journey of grief MY WAY with out judgement. I continue to celebrate you and the love we shared.
I will always be your powerful wife!
Around the world and back again~