Thursday, July 21, 2011

Why isn't it easy anymore?????!!!

Dearest Trick~
Life was easy when you were here. Don't get me wrong we had MORE than our fair share of hardships (a lot more) but somehow we dealt with it together and it all seemed easy. It was easy to love you. It was easy for me to express how I was feeling without having to even use words. It was easy to battle the world as a team. It was easy being your wife. It was easy dealing with the daily grind because we were the DeVenyDuo.

Now everything seems so hard. Waking up, dealing with people, dealing with life - it all lacks to be easy. Now when I am tossed a problem head on I don't to have my support, my partner. I miss you. I miss the easy way about you. I miss us! I miss a ton of the little things that seemed so EASY for you to do and now I yearn for them. I miss having my car door opened for me before I get to it. I miss holding hands in bed and falling asleep. I miss family walks with Norm the wonder dog. I miss little notes left on the board in the kitchen just because I made coffee. I miss never going to bed mad or sad. I miss trips to the library becoming mini vacations. I miss getting flowers for no reason at all. I miss the soft hours when there were no sounds, no words, just smiles. I miss how your shoes always landed the same way when you tossed them off at night. I miss the way we listened to things the other was interested in just because we loved one another. I miss how easy it all was.

And then just as  easy, just as fast, the world took you from me. I wish I could be stronger. I wish that it was not so easy for you to be taken away. I miss you and I miss who we were. I miss the easy life.
Around the world and back again~


  1. It never gets easy, it becomes tolerable. The memories never fade, the become scenes from your favorite movie. You know, the one you've watched so many times, you know all the lines, and exactly what happens next? But you still love it anyway?
    I wish I had the magic words to make it all better (or at least tolerable). You ARE stronger- stronger than most. And you have a calling to deliver the message of hope in healing. You can do this! I promise!
    It hurts, I know. Like a knife in the stomach. Sometimes you have to double over because of the pain. Submit to it. Feel it for awhile. It's only normal. Then find your feet, stand tall and be what you are meant to be.