Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hitting the road

Dearest Trick~
Tomorrow morning I will get into my sister's car (as ours remains at Dad's house parked - I have not driven it since I went to the emergency room for you and can't bring myself to get back in it) and drive from TX to TN solo. It is weird how what I once loved I am now somewhat afraid of. Oh how I loved road trips while you were here with me. I loved the adventure. I loved how YOU drove and I got to be the biggest back seat driver ever. I loved all the wonderful things I saw out the windows that I never knew existed. I loved how we would stop at random places and find cool people to meet and places to see. I loved all of it. Now I must get in a car by myself and drive 18 hours. 18 hours without YOU~ my map.
You see Trick, you have always been my map of life. You have helped me reach all my destinations be it physical or mental, you were a guide. Now I hit the road with a computer voice telling me where to turn. I guess the only voice I really want to hear is yours. You found a joy in reading maps. You always knew how to navigate every experience in life. I now am left to navigate on my own. I must learn how to read maps, be in driver seat, and find my own joy on the side road attractions of life. I hope you will be with me. I hope you sit in the passenger seat and give me strength over this journey. I hope that you guide me to all the right destinations. And when I do get lost or drive in the dark, I hope you will send a light my way. Tomorrow I hit the road. Tomorrow I hit it alone. Tomorrow I navigate a journey without you. I fear tomorrow might be a rough day. And then I think about the fact that you will be watching over me and my fear reduces. I love you ~ I love where your map has lead me in the past. It is time for me to take out my own map and that is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 
Around the world and back again~


  1. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and feelings. You keep typing, and I'll keep reading.

  2. Bon voyage, my dear friend. Have a safe journey.

    Love, Mary and Lucy in The Sky with Patrick

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  4. Keep the faith Ali...Pat is always with you.

  5. Love you Ali. I think Pat just might be your map.