It has rained a ton in all the places I have visited since you danced your way into heaven. I have come to learn that rain cleans the soul, washes away the tears that stain my face, and most of all helps the flowers grow. Maybe the rain is helping me grow as well.
I would not say that I have changed as much as grown. I have grown into a woman who can drive 1000 miles alone and enjoy the silence. I have grown into someone who can LISTEN (as you know I love to talk). I have grown into a person who honors her feelings, pain and needs. I have grown into a lady who understands that before I can help others I must help myself. I have grown into an adult who can hear the truth, even when the truth hurts.
I have grown these past months. It is not growth I wanted to make or asked for , but growth none the less. I wonder if you are the one sending the rain? If you are the source of my growth? I wonder if you see me now for who I am~ and if your proud? You were always proud of me as your wife. Are you in heaven looking down saying, "she is mine!" ? The hardest growth I have to make, the thing I am working on is being ME without YOU. It is easy to forget who you are when you are part of a duo. It is easy to play one role in your life more then another. For me that was the role of your wife. Now I must grow into this new person, this new woman who brings with her all the memories of the past and growth for the days ahead. I hope you are the rain. I hope you are the force behind this rapid growth I am making. I hope you are proud. I hope you know how much I love you. I miss you so much.
Around the world and back again~