Dates.... numbers on a calendar haunt me. They are a reminder of good times and some dates are a memorial of bad times. This week is filled with dates that have played a major role in my life ~ in our life. Wednesday would have been our 9th wedding anniversary. It would have been another trip to the card store where we pull cards that we liked and hand them to one another to read and then as if no one saw us return them to their place. I always loved how you would do the math to see the money we saved by not buying them but just reading them. And do not worry, I went to the store today before therapy and found the perfect card for you. I found myself standing there for some time.. I guess for just the right amount of time for you to read the card I picked. I then (like I have for the past 8 years) placed it back into the spot I took it from and wiped the tear I found on my face. The hard part was that there was no card handed to me.
On the 27th I have the memorial of the day my mom left us and went to heaven. Every year it was so hard for me to have such a happy event so close to such a horrible event. But somehow I got through it because of you. You made it easy to have happiness dance among sadness. I try to hold on to that as I now find both dates hard to deal with since you lack to be here with me. 9 years ago I began a new family with you ~ as my family was torn apart with the death of mom. And you helped me celebrate her spirit and our love on dates so close together.
I will not lie, I miss you everyday. I yearn for a time past when dates were easier to deal with. But, this is the journey I am on now. And so I will try with all my being to celebrate the love I have for you, the love you had for me ~ on Wednesday. I will dance in memories I have of mom on the 27th. I guess dates are there to remind us of things. So I will try to embrace the date I became your wife and not fear the fact that this date no long holds the same truth. I miss you and I miss our simple dates of life.
Around the world and back again~