There is this state of limbo that consumes us when we lose someone. It is not like the limbo we do below a stick to funky Caribbean beats. It is more like being stuck in a permeant rut that lacks to move forward or backwards. It is going through daily motions with out a vision of what we want, where we should go, and endless groundhogs day that repeats itself over and over again.
The land of limbo has taught me to take life one day at time, hell one minute at a time. And in limbo there are moments of one second at a time. It is an empty land with big open spaces that once were filled with dreams, with you! In limbo one is waiting, and waiting, and waiting. But unlike the CTA trains this line never seems to come into the station. I stand here on the platform of life waiting for a train that somehow is not on the track. Learning to stand and wait knowing that transportation is nowhere in sight is beyond hard. But here I stand, here I wait, here I hold the ticket that was my life in breathless anticipation that one day, someday, somehow I will get picked up and taken out of this space we call limbo.
The weird thing about limbo is that we all have stood here at some point. Maybe for different reasons, but none the less~ at some time each human has been waiting for life to start, something to begin, something to move forward... and there is comfort in knowing that at some point my ride of life will come and I will move from this dreaded land of limbo. I keep looking down the tracks thinking I hear the whistle blowing in the distance, that I will have a life again, love again, breathe again... but it is a phantom sound. And so here I stand. Each day a simple repeat of the day before, dreaming of you and the road ahead of me. The land of limbo is my address for now~ please forward all mail.
Around the world and back again~