Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Looking Glass

Dearest Trick~
The looking glass shows a reflection I no longer recognize. How I long to see the same girl in the mirror of life. The one that walked beside you, laughed in the face of hardship, danced when fear was surrounding her. I lack to know this woman that looks back at me. I am unsure of why the glass has warped, why the world has remained spinning when it all seems different. It is as if the mirror is cracked and I am viewing my new life through shards of broken glass. 

I wish like Alice I could climb out of this rabbit hole and it all be some hallucination. That you would be there in the bed next to me, holding my hand as I awake from this nightmare. But the looking glass reflects my truth ~ as hard as it is to stare into, it is my reality.  And unlike Alice the lessons I learn do not come from a mad hatter or Queen of Hearts but from YOU. Each day I stumble into the bathroom, wash my face and look at the reflection that has become my life and I hear YOU telling me to face it all. I feel you cheering me on as I see the outlines of a new woman. I sense you supporting me as I see the image of what life will be like. The looking glass is different, it has changed, life has changed the reflection has changed; the image of who I once was has changed.

So my love, like Alice I will drink this new life I have been given. I will look into the mirror and accept the view, but I carry you with me. I will see past the cracks and shards and find the beauty that I fear. I will look into the future but will always hold on to the past. The looking glass of life reflected joy for so long, now I have to be able to SEE it even when my heart lacks it. You have always been my mirror!
Around the world and back again~

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