Dearest Trick~
In the wake of tragedy parents run home and embrace their
kids. Couples curl up on the sofa watching the news unfold and hold hands a
little tighter. Mom’s read an extra story at bedtime and dad’s toss an extra
round of ball. In the hurt they reach out and fall into the arms of those they
love, those that they lovingly call family. Dreams continue to bloom but with
an awareness that they are fragile. Presents lay under trees or by menorahs.
Meals are served, kisses are given, hugs are received, futures are realistic,
lives although silenced right now ~ have potential, endless potential. Today in
the wave of hell from the shootings in a small town the country holds on to one
another.
BUT, that thing that I never wanted to share, those feelings
that live in the quiet moments, the horror of forever without ~ is now thrust
upon some 26 families. And when in a few
days the world starts spinning again, when the presents under the tree are
unwrapped, when the clock strikes midnight and it is no longer 2012, those
families … they will …. See presents that will never be played with or
unwrapped… They will find empty beds that will never be warm again… They will
find dreams collecting dust in their hearts and eating at their souls…They will
long for something that cannot be filled…They will miss – everything! I thought
if I felt these things… no one else would have to – I know so silly – right?
And now like so many Americans I have the news on, but I sit in horror alone. I
reach out , but there is no one to embrace. I see no gifts under the tree and
no birthday gift awaiting your 42nd birthday in a few short days. And I can’t help but feel grateful for all I
had and wishing that those families NEVER had to feel what they are and what
they …. ALWAYS will. The Horror of forever without.
Around the world and back again~
Ali
